End of days

Who'd know 45min of pure, old-fashioned squash is hell. Sweated like a dog.. Almost vomited even damn. Thanks buddy.

End of the year is here and what better way to end it by a reflection session in Novena and Gab's birthday =)

We were asked to pray and reflect upon the year and share it amongst our groups. When I was done, I realised how much I screwed up my year. I shan't screw myself even more by explicitly stating all my nonsense here but the thing is I lost myself, and I didn't realise it till yesterday.

I went through quite a tumultuous time and lost quite a lot. I said things, I was turning into something I'm not. I was losing the vision I had of myself and I found that my confidence stemmed from past friends and events, not fully from within which I thought. I was pursuing things unimportant and made wrong gambles. Comparing myself in the beginning of the year and at the end, I found too many unwanted changes. Maybe they came from the hard year, maybe they came from me losing sight.

I was morphing into a full-time ass from a part-time ass, and I paid the price.

As I said, role-models are very important. I try to be one for my brother (I know some of you are laughing now, ass hah) but the problem is I don't have one for myself. I don't have a template for success, something I can replicate semi-conservatively.

Which was why I lost sight of my actions and words, offending people, myself and God.

So this is it. If I have offended you by my actions, words, whatever, I apologise, it was not intentional.

So now I have found new faith. I will not seek that affirmation of Man, but of a greater glory. I am discovering new confidence and most importantly, humility.

I'm living my life by the + Book of Sirach +

Happy All Souls Day and thanks Teng - the mango cake was fantastic.

xD

"Meanwhile, these three remain - faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is Love."