After Promos

I should not be here. What am I doing here. Aren't I supposed to be completing tutorial 9.4?

Very first day and I'm bombarded with my wonderful grades.. what the hell is going on? I've never been like that, never been such a serial failure in my 11 years of school. Wtf,didn't I start out the year filled with the strong belief that this would all be a breeze, that somehow, I would pull though just fine?

I have never felt so helpless in my life. To hell with it, such failures never affected me much before, till now. Perhaps I'm too much of a high achiever, I don't like to fail in my work. Hell, but who does? But it seems the biggest setbacks that ever touched me are those regarding my work performances. Dammit, am I one of those grades-or-nothing losers who based their life on their ability to score? Hell yes I am, and proud of it.

I've been to both ends of the grading spectrum and now I know how it feels like to totally be blessed with the ability of just screwing up everything while others around you are scoring like nobody's business. I don't blame anyone but myself. I'm not being sour grapes or anything, I have no right to do so. Their scores are testament of their hard effort. You reap what you sow.

I'm thankful to have such brilliant, smart people around me. They set the goal for me, they show me that if best isn't enough, then it wasn't your best in the first place.

Yep, I don't stay down for long, I can't afford to, but I just don't know what I'm gonna do about this just yet. Screw it, reading this, I just can't stand the way I'm feeling, this is just so unlike me. Dammit.


Success is when you never stop feeling enthusiastic in the face of failure.